View Single Post
Old 14 April 2014, 10:47 PM
Hero_Mike's Avatar
Hero_Mike Hero_Mike is offline
Join Date: 06 April 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ & Hamilton, ON
Posts: 7,267

I said this back in post #973...

It has to do with how public the relationship would be, as it's potentially damaging in reputation to the older party. No matter how willing the younger partner is, there's a tendency to view them as a victim because of how the age dynamic, even among childless professionals (not to mention income or asset disparity).
I'm going to expand upon it. My concern about with the relationship is merely how public it should be - I am not questioning its validity, but rather it's "social acceptability". I am concerned about both parties being judged publicly by mutual friends and co-workers, not to mention strangers. It can be said a million times that it is nobody else's business, but if I were to check into a hotel (a *nice* hotel which does not charge by the hour) with someone half my age, there may very well be looks of derision or even judgmental comments. Unprofessional? Out of bounds? Hurtful? All of the above. And I remain concerned about how these judgements weigh upon both parties, and how common they might be. It takes a strong character and a committed relationship to get past that, and I'm wondering if it's better to keep such a relationship under wraps until it gets established. Or it fails. I have always been a fan of making things simpler and not making more than the minimum number of life changes at once - and it's not shame that makes me concerned about that judgment. I'm doing things for the right reasons, but I don't want to deal with the judgment - it doesn't roll off my back as easily as it could, and I also remain concerned for the other party. So it's not a question of "if", just "who should know".