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Forum: Soapbox Derby 22 June 2018, 05:51 PM
Replies: 69
Views: 2,365
Posted By Alarm
Devil I have said it, and I will repeat it here: ...

I have said it, and I will repeat it here:

Stephen Miller is what happens to pond scum that earns bad karma and gets reincarnated as something worse as punishment.
Forum: Rantidote 22 June 2018, 05:49 PM
Replies: 140
Views: 5,883
Posted By Alarm
Ford's mother is still alive and will show up to...

Ford's mother is still alive and will show up to Queen's Park to yank him out by the ear if he acts too much like Donald?

"Douglas Robert Ford! What have I told you about imitating that Trump...
Forum: SLC 22 June 2018, 05:09 PM
Replies: 965
Views: 73,871
Posted By Alarm
Fat free Maple poutine? Instead of gravy,...

Fat free Maple poutine?

Instead of gravy, it's maple syrup, and because it's fat-free, it won't clog your arteries, reducing your chances of needing health care in the immediate future!!
...
Forum: SLC 22 June 2018, 05:07 PM
Replies: 556
Views: 44,287
Posted By Alarm
A lot of shops that offer balloon inflation...

A lot of shops that offer balloon inflation services now offer bags, to prevent them from flying all over the car when you drive away with them.
Forum: Amusement Bark 22 June 2018, 05:03 PM
Replies: 478
Views: 125,111
Posted By Alarm
Borg Depending on what "game rules" or alternate...

Depending on what "game rules" or alternate "universe" you base your knowledge on, some vampires can and do feed on other vampires, but their feeding is more generalized. They drink blood, usually...
Forum: SLC 22 June 2018, 12:42 PM
Replies: 128
Views: 29,842
Posted By Alarm
Judge I was curious what those objections might be... ...

I was curious what those objections might be...

I was half right

but I did not expect cartomancy!

[monthy python voice]No one expects cartomancy![/monthy python voice]
Forum: Rantidote 22 June 2018, 12:37 PM
Replies: 798
Views: 60,493
Posted By Alarm
I used to read that webcomic... I don't...

I used to read that webcomic...
I don't remember when or why I stopped...
:confused:
:duh:
Forum: Legal Affairs 22 June 2018, 12:33 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 420
Posted By Alarm
He was her father, so expecting him to restrain...

He was her father, so expecting him to restrain himself should have been the lowest of expectations...

Luckily, the judge roundly slapped this question down.
Forum: Rantidote 22 June 2018, 12:28 PM
Replies: 140
Views: 5,883
Posted By Alarm
It is #NotAllAmericans... but it is enough...

It is #NotAllAmericans...
but it is enough Americans to be scary

It's the debate about gun control that never goes anywhere because of a rabid vocal minority
It's the debate about affordable...
Forum: SLC 22 June 2018, 12:20 PM
Replies: 965
Views: 73,871
Posted By Alarm
Canada The makings of a good poutine? A pouch of Gravy...

The makings of a good poutine?
A pouch of Gravy powder and some curds!

:fish:


On second thought, maybe not poutine unless they can afford health care...
Forum: Amusement Bark 22 June 2018, 12:18 PM
Replies: 478
Views: 125,111
Posted By Alarm
Fright I'm playing a game on my tablet I forget the...

I'm playing a game on my tablet I forget the name, it's called something "and puzzles" one of those matching games that have a quest and build component.

Why Am I talking about it?



Because...
Forum: Wild Kingdom 22 June 2018, 12:13 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 351
Posted By Alarm
My deepest sympathies, Darth :(

My deepest sympathies, Darth

:(
Forum: Weird News 21 June 2018, 03:15 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 258
Posted By Alarm
And don't forget that they have an arm...

And don't forget that they have an arm specifically to grasp that organ...
That's why it's important to know how to count them.

If a squid approaches you with its 3rd arm, or its 5th, you're...
Forum: SLC 21 June 2018, 12:55 PM
Replies: 556
Views: 44,287
Posted By Alarm
Common around here too Most of my relatives...

Common around here too
Most of my relatives that I can think of own a set of "beach" badminton rackets, the cheap ones with the even cheaper net that no one uses because it can barely stand under...
Forum: Weird News 21 June 2018, 12:52 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 258
Posted By Alarm
I was going to comment about their use of the...

I was going to comment about their use of the word inseminated, but it looks like it was accurate. I mentally substituted impregnated every time I read the headline.

Now for the important...
Forum: Legal Affairs 21 June 2018, 12:47 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 420
Posted By Alarm
Soapbox Who needs locks on doors or chastity belts when...

Who needs locks on doors or chastity belts when you've got knees?

We should put knees on bank vaults, that would prevent 100% of bank robberies! "I'm sorry, sir, the vault's knees are closed, I...
Forum: Legal Affairs 20 June 2018, 05:39 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 420
Posted By Alarm
Defence lawyer asks sex assault complainant why she didn't clench her legs together

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/clench-legs-together-sex-assault-trial-przepiorka-1.4713403

Where do these people come from that still hold these outrageous, outdated ideas that knees...
Forum: Business Bytes 20 June 2018, 05:02 PM
Replies: 90
Views: 2,693
Posted By Alarm
The one that is .8Km from my house opened less...

The one that is .8Km from my house opened less than a year ago...:lol:
Forum: Techno-Babble 20 June 2018, 04:49 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 858
Posted By Alarm
https://cnet4.cbsistatic.com/img/zMrZ3thVPnDygbAJm...

https://cnet4.cbsistatic.com/img/zMrZ3thVPnDygbAJmXED3g63uIQ=/2017/06/08/34bf7cbc-4d59-411a-b97a-517dff83bdb1/spaceballswinnebago.jpg
Forum: Rantidote 20 June 2018, 02:57 PM
Replies: 140
Views: 5,883
Posted By Alarm
Speaking of Godwin, He has stated on twitter that...

Speaking of Godwin, He has stated on twitter that he is fine with comparing these peoples to Nazis... a tweet dated 13 August 2017. So you're covered on that end, Sue!
Forum: SLC 20 June 2018, 02:54 PM
Replies: 965
Views: 73,871
Posted By Alarm
so did I... It's like he was going for a fake...

so did I...
It's like he was going for a fake French accent
:confused:
Forum: Business Bytes 20 June 2018, 02:51 PM
Replies: 90
Views: 2,693
Posted By Alarm
Sorry :( According to A&W Canada, within...

Sorry
:(

According to A&W Canada, within 15Km of my house, there are 8 restaurants...10 if you stretch it to within 20Km
Forum: SLC 20 June 2018, 12:10 PM
Replies: 965
Views: 73,871
Posted By Alarm
I saw it rendere...

I saw it rendere (https://www.snopes.com/ap/2018/06/19/fans-grieve-detectives-search-xxxtentacions-killers/)d as ex ex ex ten ta see yawn...
Forum: Techno-Babble 20 June 2018, 12:09 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 858
Posted By Alarm
So we're going to see Space Winnebagos? ...

So we're going to see Space Winnebagos?

:fish:
Forum: Business Bytes 20 June 2018, 12:02 PM
Replies: 90
Views: 2,693
Posted By Alarm
I know of at least 2 A&Ws building in my area,...

I know of at least 2 A&Ws building in my area, and I already have 3 that are close by, 1 within walking distance and 2 within 15 minute drive
None of them are attached to gas stations...
They...
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