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Search: Posts Made By: Assilem Brandywine
Forum: Glurge Gallery 23 December 2012, 04:18 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 11,450
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I honestly don't think I can read this. ...

I honestly don't think I can read this.

Usually, I can laugh at bad "A Visit from St. Nicholas" pastiche. I can't laugh at this. People died.
Forum: Fauxtography 04 December 2012, 02:27 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 6,915
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
The first thing I thought of was Stalin's...

The first thing I thought of was Stalin's "revisionist" history.
Forum: Glurge Gallery 19 November 2012, 12:43 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 46,793
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Well, I just bought food for Thanksgiving and...

Well, I just bought food for Thanksgiving and only paid some 44 odd dollars. Granted, we still need the turkey and some mushrooms. And granted, we're only cooking for 2.

Wow! Food went on sale...
Forum: Fauxtography 25 October 2012, 02:51 AM
Replies: 45
Views: 34,833
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
It's Oreo Lovin' Barbie all over again!

It's Oreo Lovin' Barbie all over again!
Forum: Business 07 October 2012, 01:40 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 118,933
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I heard a similar story about alligator (possibly...

I heard a similar story about alligator (possibly crocodile?) baiting only it was Australians using a Kiwi. And I don't mean the bird or the fruit!
Forum: Glurge Gallery 03 August 2012, 04:25 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 27,348
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Ah-Ah! He's actually a bull. He's married to...

Ah-Ah! He's actually a bull. He's married to Elsie the cow (Spokescow for Borden). They have two calves together.
Forum: Snopes Spotting 06 July 2012, 03:27 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 19,986
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
The trailer should've come with a screamer...

The trailer should've come with a screamer warning! (But then, I guess, it wouldn't be a screamer.)

Saw the whole special. Fairly entertaining, though not convincing. Would the govt. really be OK...
Forum: Politics 28 June 2012, 04:28 AM
Replies: 43
Views: 91,503
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Yet another reason to give them the finger when...

Yet another reason to give them the finger when they ask for a dollar.

When I was in trouble and needed help, they seemed more interested in finding out which church I belonged to. I didn't belong...
Forum: Glurge Gallery 10 April 2012, 09:02 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 35,452
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
"As twilight approached, the boy realized how...

"As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up
to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around,
ran back to the old man, and gave him a hug."
...
Forum: Medical 08 March 2012, 05:18 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 10,114
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I never heard this urban legend before....

I never heard this urban legend before. So....Visine gets the brown out too?
Forum: Glurge Gallery 08 March 2012, 12:29 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 21,521
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Now, replace the words "rain dance" with...

Now, replace the words "rain dance" with "prayer"....
Forum: Questionable Quotes 18 January 2012, 10:05 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 16,242
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I don't think I've ever done that. Frankly, I'm...

I don't think I've ever done that. Frankly, I'm just not that interesting to write about.
Forum: Glurge Gallery 18 January 2012, 09:50 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 14,580
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I remember hearing something in a stand up comedy...

I remember hearing something in a stand up comedy act where the comic said he was driving behind a car with a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker, so he decided to honk. The driver got out of his...
Forum: Glurge Gallery 21 December 2011, 04:01 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 19,695
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Were they really concerned, though? How many...

Were they really concerned, though? How many people say "How are you?" and then freak out if the answer is anything other than "Fine, thank you." Could be her parents and teachers had inquired about...
Forum: History 12 November 2011, 09:19 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 25,806
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I've often wondered why holocaust survivors don't...

I've often wondered why holocaust survivors don't have their tattoos removed. Lots of ex-gangbangers have theirs removed when they don't want to run with gangs anymore. Is the tattoo more difficult...
Forum: Legal Affairs 08 November 2011, 03:56 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 38,664
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Queen illegal lake to swan wild kill in it a is!

Queen illegal lake to swan wild kill in it a is!
Forum: Questionable Quotes 07 November 2011, 03:41 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 12,767
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Do you know what really bugs me about being dead?...

Do you know what really bugs me about being dead? Everyone thinks your hair and fingernails are still growing when it's really just your skin receding. I hate that.

R.I.P. Andy.
Forum: Critter Country 10 October 2011, 10:51 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 122,602
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I think the one in the Helen Keller pic looks...

I think the one in the Helen Keller pic looks more like a French bull dog than a Pitt bull.
Forum: Fauxtography 04 August 2011, 05:48 AM
Replies: 53
Views: 40,071
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
In the religious Bizzaro World, Elvis Presley was...

In the religious Bizzaro World, Elvis Presley was a strong atheist who never ate peanut butter and bananas because everyone knows atheists are terrified of both. :rolleyes:
Forum: Old Wives' Tales 10 July 2011, 04:57 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 49,320
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Reading this made me think of Luna and Artemis...

Reading this made me think of Luna and Artemis from Sailor Moon. Luna is a female cat who is completely black if you don't count the crescent mark on her head. Artemis is white (save for his crescent...
Forum: Religion 25 March 2011, 05:55 AM
Replies: 48
Views: 47,645
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
Never really had a big Easter meal in my family....

Never really had a big Easter meal in my family. Just baskets of candy and the eggs.
Forum: Glurge Gallery 23 March 2011, 04:45 PM
Replies: 100
Views: 93,977
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I was pointing out how "Good O'l Days" glurge...

I was pointing out how "Good O'l Days" glurge never mentions the bad things about the past. Like racism, sexism, higher mortality rates, etc. Like everything was just as it was shown on Leave It to...
Forum: Glurge Gallery 23 March 2011, 06:25 AM
Replies: 100
Views: 93,977
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
"They drank from a fountain when they were...

"They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty...."

...and were the right color.
Ever notice "Good Ol' Days" glurge never mentions the blatant racism?
Forum: Fauxtography 20 March 2011, 04:03 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 15,477
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
I remember being directed to this video from TV...

I remember being directed to this video from TV Tropes, and being very glad I work in a nice, safe bookstore, where the worst on the job injury you can get is a papercut.
Forum: Fauxtography 09 March 2011, 04:23 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 26,582
Posted By Assilem Brandywine
(Listens to song) Wow! Just...wow!

(Listens to song)

Wow! Just...wow!
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