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Forum: Police Blotter 20 May 2018, 08:04 AM
Replies: 29
Views: 688
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Or if they were trying to evacuate after the...

Or if they were trying to evacuate after the school got hit by one.
Forum: SLC 20 May 2018, 12:40 AM
Replies: 553
Views: 41,747
Posted By kitap
Whalephant No, they just say that.

No, they just say that.
Forum: SLC 19 May 2018, 02:35 PM
Replies: 553
Views: 41,747
Posted By kitap
Whalephant So you avoid the area where the shots -soreness-...

So you avoid the area where the shots -soreness- were given has always been my guess. At least they've stopped urging cat owners to keep their cats from jumping up and down. Because...how?
Forum: Police Blotter 19 May 2018, 01:18 PM
Replies: 29
Views: 688
Posted By kitap
Whalephant All I thought was "one door. In tornado country....

All I thought was "one door. In tornado country. Um no."
Forum: SLC 19 May 2018, 11:45 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 408
Posted By kitap
Whalephant I am some sort of superhero and part of my...

I am some sort of superhero and part of my costume is bright pink tights with daisies. They look hideous.
Forum: SLC 19 May 2018, 11:43 AM
Replies: 449
Views: 33,526
Posted By kitap
Whalephant I bet I could lose that in record time.

I bet I could lose that in record time.
Forum: SLC 19 May 2018, 11:39 AM
Replies: 553
Views: 41,747
Posted By kitap
Whalephant I took my cat to the vet's for her annual shots....

I took my cat to the vet's for her annual shots. I go to the cheap shots clinic and you don't go back with the pet, but they get a quick once over along with the shots. She's in great shape for being...
Forum: Science 19 May 2018, 11:31 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 653
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Don't be silly. The Earth is unchangeable. There...

Don't be silly. The Earth is unchangeable. There was no Ice Age.
Forum: Wild Kingdom 16 May 2018, 01:15 PM
Replies: 576
Views: 121,434
Posted By kitap
Whalephant I showed this website to my sister, who promptly...

I showed this website to my sister, who promptly made me promise to never show it to her husband- she's afraid he'd watch this all day instead of doing his job!
Forum: Rantidote 14 May 2018, 02:45 PM
Replies: 58
Views: 2,083
Posted By kitap
Whalephant The real biggie is usually lower taxes.

The real biggie is usually lower taxes.
Forum: Rantidote 14 May 2018, 01:10 PM
Replies: 58
Views: 2,083
Posted By kitap
Whalephant It's nothing new, though; people vote against...

It's nothing new, though; people vote against their own best interest time and time again.
Forum: Rantidote 13 May 2018, 05:41 AM
Replies: 473
Views: 33,087
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Pfft. My dad's polling place for years -it moved-...

Pfft. My dad's polling place for years -it moved- was the room next to the office in his apartment complex. He used to claim he'd stroll over in his slippers and bathrobe to vote.
Forum: Rantidote 12 May 2018, 12:43 PM
Replies: 58
Views: 2,083
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Really? I'm not doubting you, I'm just surprised....

Really? I'm not doubting you, I'm just surprised. My impression has been the Republicans have been nosing around for an excuse.
Forum: Police Blotter 12 May 2018, 09:37 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 958
Posted By kitap
Whalephant When I worked at the hotel in Wausau, Wisconsin...

When I worked at the hotel in Wausau, Wisconsin from 1998_2000 we had a black maintenance guy.

Wausau was about 40,00- the biggest town in the area- and mostly white with I think the biggest...
Forum: Rantidote 09 May 2018, 01:11 PM
Replies: 473
Views: 33,087
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Pillow mints should definitely dissolve on the...

Pillow mints should definitely dissolve on the tongue.

I preferred Fizzers to US Smarties....
Forum: Urban Legends Contest 08 May 2018, 12:55 PM
Replies: 859
Views: 124,367
Posted By kitap
Whalephant I did fine but I'm drawing a complete blank. Now...

I did fine but I'm drawing a complete blank. Now if he'd asked us to key out a plant I'd be fine.
Forum: Wild Kingdom 08 May 2018, 11:42 AM
Replies: 518
Views: 167,491
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Dear mom, Killjoy. The cat

Dear mom,

Killjoy.

The cat
Forum: Urban Legends Contest 08 May 2018, 10:43 AM
Replies: 859
Views: 124,367
Posted By kitap
Whalephant #4 is I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar. #5 is...

#4 is I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar.

#5 is The Mayans.

#6- Pell?
Forum: Wild Kingdom 06 May 2018, 12:53 PM
Replies: 518
Views: 167,491
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Dear Immy, Yes, I fell asleep while reading...

Dear Immy,

Yes, I fell asleep while reading on the couch the other day. No, I did not mean to fall asleep in a position that made it (apparently) impossible for you to jump on to me and snooze...
Forum: Crash and Burn 05 May 2018, 09:13 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 797
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Tootsie roll.

Tootsie roll.
Forum: SLC 05 May 2018, 09:11 AM
Replies: 1,038
Views: 272,047
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Albuquerque is actually right on the Gulf of...

Albuquerque is actually right on the Gulf of Mexico and has gorgeous white sand beaches. They also have a beautifully maintained electric streetcar system that goes pretty much everywhere a tourist...
Forum: Rantidote 01 May 2018, 02:48 PM
Replies: 473
Views: 33,087
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Also cloaks, masks and hidden and trap doors.

Also cloaks, masks and hidden and trap doors.
Forum: Rantidote 01 May 2018, 07:12 AM
Replies: 473
Views: 33,087
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Ahem. You have to do some work yourself, you...

Ahem. You have to do some work yourself, you know. You're in a library! You can find a book showing you how to install a chandelier.
Forum: SLC 01 May 2018, 07:08 AM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,741
Posted By kitap
Whalephant Well, in my case it is because they are really...

Well, in my case it is because they are really the only thing I own mass quantities of.

And yep, Lori can wrench books I hate out of my hands without my complaining.
Forum: SLC 30 April 2018, 02:53 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 1,741
Posted By kitap
Whalephant I suggest the Lori* method. Have a friend...

I suggest the Lori* method.

Have a friend with zero sentimental attachments to whatever you're going through come over and ruthlessly make 4 piles with you: keep without question, give away, think...
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