1st grade proverbs
 

Already posted on the old board.

Comment: A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.
She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known
proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's
hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight
may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are
first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!


1.
Don't change horses
until they stop running.

2.
Strike while the
bug is close.

3.
It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.

4.
Never underestimate the power of
termites.

5.
You can lead a horse to water but
How?

6.
Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.

7.
No news is
impossible

8.
A miss is as good as a
Mr.

9.
You can't teach an old dog new
Math

10.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.

11.
Love all, trust
Me.

12.
The pen is mightier than the
pigs.

13.
An idle mind is
the best way to relax.

14.
Where there's smoke there's
pollution.

15.
Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.

16.
A penny saved is
not much.

17.
Two's company, three's
the Musketeers.

18.
Don't put off till tomorrow what
you put on to go to bed.

19.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
You have to blow your nose.

20.
There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.

21.
Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.

22.
If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.

23.
You get out of something only what you

See in the picture on the box

24.
When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.

25.
A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.


And the WINNER and last one!

26.
Better late than
Pregnant

Way to kill any lingering sense of believeablilty.

Actually, I could see this as coming from a bunch of 1st graders. I seriously doubt that this "assignment" was given one-proverb-per-child and this was the result; it would be more like all the kids got all of the proverbs, and the best answers were put together, or all of the kids for 5 years got all of the proverbs and the best were put together.

My mother was a grade school teacher, and one year they put together a cookbook (I believe it was 1st graders; it was definitely lower grades). Now, it wouldn't do to have the kids go home and get their favorite recipes from their parents; they asked them to just write down how they thought it was cooked. You ended up with things like "add one cup of salt", "put oven on at 50 degrees for 15 hours", etc. The results were sent home. Very very funny.

Agreed. Even first-graders with some knowledge of the facts of life are probably not going to associate delinquent periods with pregnancy. I am a little dubious on the Stevie Wonder one, too.

I am too, but because Stevie Wonder is not as relevant today. I mean, when I was in school, everybody would have associated blindness with Stevie Wonder, so this feels more like something the author remembers from, or would have said in, his/her school days.

Don't forget that these things have often been in circulation for decades, since the earliest days of message boards and even earlier as faxed jokes.

I don't know about schoolkids, but there is a show on BBC Radio 4 in which (among other things) a bunch of old comedians get given the beginnings of proverbs and come up with their own endings. These mostly sound like they could be from that, and I'm almost certain Barry Cryer came out with that last one on the show. Other examples:

There's nowt as queer as
Julian Clary.

Too many cooks
on television.

previously published
 

This list was published without attribution in "Inspirational Wit and Wisdom from the Internet, Volume One" by Dave Balsiger and Chris Strong in 2006. Many of them were in a 2004 online collection "You can teach an old dog new adages" by Bob Karolevitz, with no silliness about being produced by first-graders. He says: "Through the years I¹ve collected new versions of old adages. Some I even thought up myself."

In a similar vein, my favorite re- worked advice was always "Don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. If they get mad you're a mile away, and, hey, you've got their shoes."

I have to agree while I can except some of them coming from first graders most of them seem too witty. They only way I can see some of them as coming from this age group is if they were repeating a joke they have heard an adult saying without realising that they are not the real proverb.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
The other end is where the enemy soldiers are hiding.

I'm almost positive that's from SNL's "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" - some pretty funny stuff in there.

ETA:Oh, and Not R - welcome to the boards, and a nice bit of detective work there!

One of my colleagues always used to say "he who laughs last .... didn't get the joke"

Anyone else remember Johnny Carson doing these? I would think the early 80's?

Anyone else willing to admitt they only know about half of these and would have given the same answers as the kids to the other half?

Love # 8

A miss is as good as a
Mr.

These are surely not from school kids?

I asked Little Blue Tablet, who is a second grader, to finish these, and got a few cute answers.


Don't change horses...
If the one you have is nice


You can lead a horse to water but...
Make sure it doesn't kick you


You can't teach an old dog...
How to flip


If you lie down with dogs...
They'll like it


The pen is mightier than...
The paper


An idle mind is...
A stupid one


Where there's smoke there's...
Danger


Happy the bride who...
Doesn't marry an angry man


A penny saved is...
A saved penny


Children should be seen and not...
Be tricking people


If at first you don't succeed...
You will later


When the blind lead the blind...
They will fail


A bird in the hand...
Feels cozy



ETA-And one additional one:

You can't make a silk purse...
If the bugs don't like you

Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.

:))

From an Internet commenter: "Remember, you catch more flies with honey than a stick."
From WWII: "Catch a falling star and put it in your window."
From the theologically challenged: "Do unto others as they do unto you."