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firefighter_raven 14 June 2013 09:52 PM

Is it too much to ask for a little break between problems?
So just passed the year mark of being Cancer free. I've been dealing with the side effects since then -fatigue*, had to get dentures since my teeth kept breaking and my favorite- peripheral neuropathy( numbness, tingling and pain in the extremities) which brings with it walking/balance issues(related to the numbness).

I'm on my 3rd med for the last since the first worked pretty good for about 1-2 months but then I began getting massive headaches. The 2nd drug made me forgetful and extremely irritable and short tempered. The third drug doesn't dull the pain as well as the first but it's not an anti-depressant like the first 2. It's hard to tell if it's the med not working as well as the first or if the pain is actually getting worse.

This along with my back issues has made looking for other work nearly impossible since I can't really lift any real weight reliably, my speech is slightly off from the dentures and I can't do anything requiring fine motor control.

My 9 y/o lab mix, Annie, has been limping for a bit and we wondered if it was from the "new" mattress we got last October being several inches higher causing her to jar her shoulders to much. So we took her to the vet and they diagnosed her with bone cancer. It's already spread and they've given her maybe a month. So we have her pain pills and keeping a close eye on her.

I'm honestly at a loss with this. I don't want her to suffer unnecessarily but I don't want to put her down early either. Losing 2 of our cats late last year was bad but this will be just devastating all around. She's been the 'momma-dog' to our small dogs and my nurse/guard dog when really ill.My wife got her as a puppy just before we started dating but I "stole" her (as my wife says) almost immediately. She'd drive my wife crazy by ignoring her commands repeatedly but do just about anything I said the first time.

I'm so full of sadness and anger now that I don't know what to do.

* Hard to tell how much is residual from the chemo and how much is lack of exercise since I get tired really fast trying to do things and the pain.

geminilee 14 June 2013 10:03 PM

I am sorry to hear this. It sucks when everything goes wrong at once. Hang in there; eventually things will settle down. I really hope they can find a decent med for the neuropathy, that one can be a killer. If you want, my PM box is open and we can commiserate about what dirty rotten liars our nerves have turned into. :fish:

On the other hand, yay for no cancer!

daisyslegs 14 June 2013 10:49 PM

sheeeeeesh.... are we related?

I'm happy for you on the cancer free year mark, understand the med issue -

and am very very sorry to hear about your furry part of the family going soon. Breaks my heart to think of it, knowing that the loss of one of mine would devastate me.

I wish there was something not so cliche that I could say that might help in any way, but I can't find the words and I don't think there really are any. Only that I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your family.

Dear Babby 15 June 2013 07:13 PM

I'm so sorry about all that's been happening to you. I hope your health continues to improve.

hambubba 15 June 2013 09:08 PM

Congrats on the cancer free! I know what you mean about strength issues - at work I complain about my "weenie arms" when I can't budge something. Amazing what chemo will to TO you and FOR you. As you may know, sometimes you gotta just keep on keeping on, and it's rough. You'll get there! It takes time.

geminilee 15 June 2013 09:22 PM

Well, chemo banks on the fact that it kills cancer cells a little bit quicker than it kills you.

firefighter_raven 22 July 2013 08:29 PM

Well she made it over a month. While getting up my dog suddenly started whimpering and limped over to me. We gave her another pain pill and tried to get her to get comfy. As she was laying down, next to my wife on the floor, she gave out a loud yelp and my wife said she felt something pop.

I had my wife get an ice pack and I laid down on the floor next to Annie to keep it in place. We called the vet and my wife took her in( being on the floor tweaked my back some more and didn't want her to wait for me to get dressed since Annie was already in the car). The vet determined it was time and my wife came to get me. I really hate going to our vet since this now makes the 3rd time I've been there for the loss of a pet in less then a year. I sat by her head and stroked her head while they did the injection.

As soon as I could pull it together enough to walk out, we left and I punched our car door a few times from anger/frustration. Once we got home, I just sat in my chair holding her collar bunched up in my hands staring at nothing. The other dogs just seem slightly confused that Annie is not here.

At least I got off the Lyrica last week since it was the source of my suicidal thoughts/apathy the last few weeks. The change in my mood is amazing and if wasn't for one of their stupid commercials, I might not have put 2+2 together. Going to post this now since my fingers are beginning to stiffen up.

Dr. Dave 22 July 2013 08:36 PM

Hey, I'm sorry about your dog and really wishing the best for you and your wife.

UEL 22 July 2013 08:47 PM

Well firefighter_raven, I can't offer much but my thoughts. You've gone through more than the rest of us ever have.

I wish you my best. Keep us posted. We care about you. :)

thorny locust 22 July 2013 09:49 PM

Good dog, Annie. Good, good dog. I'm sorry you had to go so soon.

firefighter_raven, you know you did your very best for her. And I know that, right now, knowing that isn't enough to help much. But hang in there.

Bobcat Warrior 22 July 2013 09:55 PM


I'm sorry for your loss.


wanderwoman 22 July 2013 09:59 PM

I'm so sorry firefighter_raven. It's clear she was well-loved and knew it.

Lainie 22 July 2013 10:04 PM

I'm so sorry about your sweet Annie. I hope things get better for you soon.

Little Pink Pill 22 July 2013 10:15 PM

I'm so sorry. I lost my little companion of 16 years this year. We made the same decision you did to end her suffering. It's terrible, but it's right. :(

Mochrie99 22 July 2013 10:30 PM

Very very sorry for your loss. :(

Chloe 22 July 2013 10:42 PM

I am so sorry about your lovely girl. {{{hugs}}}

Latiam 22 July 2013 11:10 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that you had to make that terrible decision. It's almost like we have to accept our pain to end theirs. My thoughts are with you.

Mosherette 23 July 2013 06:40 AM

I'm so very sorry.

Reading Girl 23 July 2013 12:57 PM

Your loss has been heard and right now, people are thinking about you and wishing there was some way to take away the pain. Since there really is no way, may it comfort you to know that you were there for her and we, in a small way, are here for you. {{hugs}}

firefighter_raven 15 August 2013 12:47 AM

I've been waiting for my wife to transfer some photos from her phone/facebook to somewhere I can access them to add a new pet post in the animal section but Murphy is apparently not done with us yet.

For my birthday a lil over a week ago, my wife and a family friend C (the one I puppysit her Klee Kai for and that got us our 3 legged Klee Kai) got me a 10 wk old Lab/Pit mix puppy( a recent rescue of the mom and her puppies) that is named Ashley. C said she picked her out because while the other pups were tugging at her pant leg, Ashley was just super snuggly.

And she does love to snuggle, dangerously smart (figured out C's pet door in about 10 minutes and only has to watch our dogs do something once to get it) and is an amusingly heavy sleeper- giving her the nickname Bump(on a log). It was a little early for me after the loss of Annie but she is just adorable.

This weekend she started getting very lethargic and just sleeping all day. She barely ate or drank to the point we were giving her water through a syringe, just in case, to make sure she didn't get dehydrated. When she was awake, she was rambunctious as hell. The dreaded P word was brought up (Parvo) and we took her to the vet.

They thought she might of just had a UTI and gave us some antibiotics for her. She almost immediately showed improvement wolfing down food, drinking water and being a puppy pain in the ass.

We got word today from the rescue that one of her litter mates was diagnosed with Parvo and wanted us to get a stool sample from Ashley to check. Which caused the amusing site of my wife stalking Ashley around the yard waiting for her to poop( the meds make her constipated so it can be a long wait) and Ashley trying to figure out why she is being followed by the strange lady with a plastic baggy.

Finally got the sample and our friend C took it to the vet on her way home. C just called and the vet confirmed that Ashley has Parvo. (the highlight being the rescue is covering the vet bills on this) So now we need to start her on meds for that.

But while my wife was at our vet, she checked on the shot cycle for our other 2 dogs and Trudy is due for normal shots in a few months and Julia is due for her rabies shot but overdue for Parvo. So now we have to worry about her getting it too.

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