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-   -   Things you shouldn't have to tell your pet (http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=76067)

GenYus234 07 November 2011 04:33 PM

Dear Staff:

If it is warm, soft, in the sun, or important to you, it is a kitty bed.

Signed,
Master of All,
Squeaky

Chloe 07 November 2011 05:09 PM

You are not an hour late for your morning constitutional, puppy.

greenfrog78 07 November 2011 05:20 PM

Dear Squeaky, Master of All (how apt of a title for you!)
You feeling that way is the reason I washed, dried, folded and put away five loads of laundry in one fell swoop yesterday:lol:. Which was an impressive and exhausting feat on my part. One load of which had been clean last weekend before you used it all of last week as a kitty bed necessitating it being washed anew without anything being worn. I was sort of amused that while I did the laundry, hyper aware to not let you near my nice clean laundry as I hurriedly folded it, you walked around alternating between your "I'm so nonchalant" act and giving me the stink eye. I do congratulate you though on your total scorning of my attempt to make nice by putting an old blanket in an empty laundry basket. I now see it's a far inferior place to sleep because I'm okay with you sleeping there.

BTW, you're due for a bath soon as you are filthy!

Warmest regards,
The Staff:p

sparrowgrass 07 November 2011 07:31 PM

Dear Dogs, all three of you:

Please, take a gander around before you barrel out the door full force. I had just bathed you all--you were still damp--when you flew out the door and overran that skunk who was minding his own business in the yard.

PHEW!!!!

If you fail to heed this warning, you will be sleeping outdoors from now on.

Kitsune27 07 November 2011 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horse Chestnut (Post 1551549)
Benny the new kitten, please leave the printer alone. Benny, no, leave the printer alone. Benny! Get off the printer! Benny quit tha... (Horrible crashing sound as new printer hits floor.)

I know I have been remiss about posting new kitten pictures, and he is very likely to go all 'splody. At this point I'm almost hoping he does. I know the other two cats would volunteer to light the fuse.

Corporal Cuddling works so very well in those instances.

Quote:

Originally Posted by greenfrog78 (Post 1552243)
Dear Squeaky,
Please be advised, laundry baskets full of clean clothes are NOT cat beds.

The Staff

Sez You. :lol:

quink 07 November 2011 10:05 PM

Sorry Spike, but when I catch you and the toothpaste tube in a passionate embrace in the bathroom sink, no amount of horror on your little kitty face is going to stop me from grabbing the camera. I just wish I'd made it back before you'd bolted to the living room and started licking your toes in the most dignified manner.

RichardM 10 November 2011 08:40 PM

Dammit dogs, who would have I thought that I had to tell you to not eat the BMW. It isn't even our car. Andy expects it to be in the same condition it was last time he was here from Iraq (at the embassy, not in the military). The holes in the bumper where you were trying to get the squirrel are going to cost me $1000 to fix.

zman977 15 November 2011 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RichardM (Post 1554212)
Dammit dogs, who would have I thought that I had to tell you to not eat the BMW. It isn't even our car. Andy expects it to be in the same condition it was last time he was here from Iraq (at the embassy, not in the military). The holes in the bumper where you were trying to get the squirrel are going to cost me $1000 to fix.


Our Lab Maggie thinks she should chew on the couch. Not sure why. She never chews on the recliners. We finally had to ban her from the couch.

Psihala 15 November 2011 06:14 PM

Bear, my adventuresome, fearless kitty, I feel the need to explain the concept of "glass panes" to you before you feel the pain of the concept again first hand. First, they are very hard to see, and second, they're very unforgiving to a kitten running full tilt into them. I trust after this initial experience there will not be another?

~The woman you've already scared out of a year's growth more than once in less than a month.

Gayle 15 November 2011 06:38 PM

Dear Lizzy Kitty,

Long way down from the fridge, huh? No. No, I say. In case you were wondering how that big red metal bowl got up there this morning, it's no accident, kiddo.

thorny locust 15 November 2011 06:42 PM

Dear Bear,

Maybe your human should be more like our human, and not wash the windows so much.

-- The ones who are still occasionally known as Chaos and Destruction

DawnStorm 15 November 2011 08:43 PM

Flanders, I know you snooze on DH's bed when you get the chance--I was born at night, but not last night! Besides I hear your tags and your jumping motion.

Psihala 21 November 2011 09:32 PM

Kittens,

One of my concerns when I adopted you was that at 2 months, I worried the Humane Society where you were born had weaned you from your mother too early.

Your actions this morning only compounded my concerns. I'm very sorry that I neglected to check your food dish before going to bed last night. Be that as it may, while its remotely possible I could provide milk to you from my body (much less were I to allow for such a thing), I have a high degree of certainty that you won't get any milk from my chin, my armpit, or the side of my neck. I appreciate the neck message this morning anyway, Enoch.

~Psihala
(*Who can only take being the designated surrogate mother so far...)

DawnStorm 22 November 2011 01:20 AM

Leela you will be getting a half pill in a pill pocket twice a day for the rest of your sweet life. Please do not turn your nose up at it like you did yesterday. This is for your own good y'know.

Scuttlebutt and Felix: you're both the fed the same food--does the food in the other cat's bowl taste different in some way? Is that why you two eat from each other's bowl? Is this some sort of variation on The Three Bears story?

gopher 22 November 2011 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DawnStorm (Post 1559810)
Scuttlebutt and Felix: you're both the fed the same food--does the food in the other cat's bowl taste different in some way? Is that why you two eat from each other's bowl? Is this some sort of variation on The Three Bears story?

Well if you eat from another's bowl the calories don't count :)

Luka_the_Pooka 22 November 2011 03:33 PM

Missy: Yes, there is a rainstorm out there. It will not be different if you go out the front door, side door, back door, or garage door. And looking at me and screaming "MYEEERR!" is not going to make me change the weather back, although I would if I could.

Blatherskite 26 November 2011 11:16 PM

When my cat went 'Rrrrrrr!' while jumping up on the back of the sofa behind me I scooped her up around the middle, held her to my ear like a phone and said 'Hello, who's ringing?'. I shouldn't have to tell her that I'm honestly very sorry. She can forgive me now!

Kitsune27 26 November 2011 11:56 PM

Cat, I am touched that you seem to feel bad about tearing my hand open, but STOP TRYING TO LICK THE WOUND!!!
Magic cat spit only works on cats and to grow hair on the heads of small children.

greenfrog78 27 November 2011 12:24 AM

Dear Kitties,
During this next month there will be times where I'll be working in the kitchen more than usual. Now, I understand you are hopeful you'll get FOOD! every time I'm in the kitchen, but you should know by now your FOOD! time is in the evening. So, there is no need to stalk me around the kitchen and lay down right behind my heels every time I stand still for more then 30 seconds. All this results in is me hollering and flailing my arms as I grouch about you tripping me when I turn around and you trip me. Which makes you scowl and stomp away only to turn around and come back and act excited the next time the fridge is opened or the microwave is ran or the pantry is opened. Let's not go in those circles all this month eh? Much thanks.

Regards,
The Staff

DawnStorm 27 November 2011 12:52 AM

Bruce, there are times when I really need you to get out of my way, like when I'm taking the table saw into the basement! Really, it's not necessary to be my shadow!


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