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A Turtle Named Mack 24 December 2012 07:49 PM

Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker
A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his Baltimore office.

Il-Mari 24 December 2012 09:27 PM

All I can say is that they selected the perfect photo for this article. Upon opening it up, I immediately though, 'I think I see the problem here.'


Stan The Man 24 December 2012 11:57 PM


The man was also accused of launching a trio of attacks on September 11.
Is that supposed to be some sort of joke? :confused:

geminilee 25 December 2012 12:36 AM

While there are several conditions that can cause uncontrollable gas and seriously nasty smells, lactose intolerance should not be one of those after diagnosis. Yes, it causes gas that can peel paint, but there is a fairly simple fix (avoid dairy). While some dairy products may slip through from time to time, you should be able to eliminate most sources of dairy from your diet much easier than, say, someone suffering from Crohn's can eliminate gluten. I am not sure I am on this guy's side.

Karl 25 December 2012 07:57 PM

I hope this doesn't encourage the belief that government workers are lazy, inasmuch as he was reprimanded for busting ass.

Nana M 26 December 2012 12:12 AM

There's an even easier remedy for lactose intolerance that doesn't require restricting your diet. It's called Lactaid. Cheap, easy to carry and doesn't require a prescription.

Spamamander 27 December 2012 12:14 AM

I was prepared to be pretty pissed off on this man's behalf, but if it is indeed a case of lactose intolerance then the onus is really on him to attempt to maintain a lactose-free diet (and possibly use Lactaid, etc). The half-assed (no pun intended) statement he would get some Gas-X speaks to really not having any clue to how his, erm, emissions affected others, or a lack of care, as if it wasn't a big deal. Assuming the report is on the up-and-up, I think there is legitimate cause for termination in the same way you could make a case to release someone who refused to engage in regular hygiene.

geminilee 27 December 2012 12:50 AM


Originally Posted by Spamamander (Post 1697239)
I was prepared to be pretty pissed off on this man's behalf,

I was too Spam, and if it were something harder to eliminate, such as gluten sources or the gas that can come with IBS I would be. It seems like he has made no effort to live with his diagnosis though. Apparently he has not even looked into getting Lactaid (or I assume that is the case, because I can't imagine how GasX would help if Lactaid didn't). That, to me, weakens his case that exceptions should be made because he has a disability.

Or am I being discriminatory/jealous in this attitude?

Esprise Me 27 December 2012 12:54 AM

I'm pretty sure simethicone, the active ingredient in Gas-X, doesn't do much for stinky farts. Simethicone relieves pain caused by gas trapped in the stomach and intestines, but it doesn't make the gas magically vanish. It works by reducing the surface tension of gas bubbles in the gastrointestinal tract, causing them to combine into larger bubbles which are easier to burp or fart. (If they're still in your stomach, you'll burp; if they're in the lower part of the GI tract, you'll fart.)

Now, maybe taking some Gas-X a few hours before and immediately after work would help, because it would make him fart during his off-hours so there was less gas to pass at the office. But it sounds like what he really needs is a digestive aid such as Lactaid or Bean-O. Flatulence is caused by gases forming as a byproduct of digestion. If your body lacks the proper enzymes to break down a particular sugar, intestinal bacteria will go to town on it and produce gas. Lactose-intolerant people don't make sufficient quantities of the enzyme lactase, for example, and we all lack the enzymes to properly digest beans fully.

Luckily, all the enzymes we need can be produced in the lab, and are sold over-the-counter to anyone who gives a fart about the people who have to work with him.

Alarm 27 December 2012 07:17 PM

What has me leary of his claim is the pattern of his "farts". several days with 2-4 per day, then a day with 6 or more, then a week or so with none.

As somene who does have a condition that leads to stomach upset that sometimes manifests as gas, I would tend to believe it's due to his nutrition, which means it IS controllable... if you stop stuffing your mouth with the stuff that makes you fart in the first place.

For me, my condition is acid reflux, and my medication has a side effect of gas. The more I eat stuff that irritates my stomach, the more chances for "eruption". IF he's simply lactose intolerance, then there's Lactaid, but if it's something other, I'm sure he knows what is is, but doesn't want to do anything about it. (Been there, done that, got the T-shirt)

A Turtle Named Mack 11 January 2013 05:30 PM

Social Security Administration takes back reprimand of flatulent worker
It’s hard to keep a straight face on this one, but it’s worth mentioning as one of the strangest cases of alleged misconduct we’ve seen.

The Social Security Administration officially reprimanded an employee whom colleagues accused of continuously “passing gas and releasing an unpleasant odor” that created a “hostile work environment.”

After the Smoking Gun posted the reprimand letter online, the agency said it had withdrawn its disciplinary action against the flatulent worker.

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